Fighting the Tides
by BlueOut999
Summary: When Bella decides to move forward, she makes a vow against love. Sam just wants to be left alone. When both parties are fighting against their past and holding to their convictions, is love strong enough to prevail?
1. 1 - Forest Revelations

**Disclaimer: Mrs. Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I simply invent stories to occupy their free time.**

**A/N: A huge, huge thank you to my Beta Bell 1 and my Pre-reader hmweasley. You are amazing, girls!**

**Let's get started! I hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter 1

Forest Revelations

_This is it._ I thought as I finally stepped into the clearing and looked around, taking in the familiar scenario.

Wildflowers danced in the grass, painting it with vibrant purple and shiny yellow tones. While a soothing breeze made the surrounding trees shake their leaves in greeting, welcoming me to what had been _his_ secret place.

Not so long ago I considered it mine as well. There were even times I thought this little paradise was _ours,_ during those lazy afternoons when my brain was intoxicated with his delicious scent and dazzled by his golden eyes. He was all I could breathe, see, or feel. However, this sanctuary belonged to nobody now and without his powerful presence, it looked almost naked.

No, not naked. Not when it exuded the freshness and happiness I yearned for in my heart. It didn't look bare, or abandoned like I felt when he left me, or during those dreadful months afterwards. It looked remarkably _simple_.

I could faintly hear the little stream nearby. Its song accompanied by the murmurs of the birds and little insects, which carried on with their busy lives without a care in the world.

I wondered what it would feel like to just _be_ and not care about what people needed from you, or what you could do for them, how to make them happy, neglecting your own desires constantly.

I always did what they asked of me without question. Let them control every single aspect of my life. I couldn't drive to school on my own. I couldn't go alone anywhere; there was a babysitter with me. I wasn't allowed to pick my own goddamn clothes, for Christ's sake! I knew deep inside the way I had been living, dragging myself around trying to be the best I could for everyone, was not following exactly who I am. I was selfless, that's true, but I was also stubborn, clever, and independent; not a little puppet they could use as they pleased.

Smiling bitterly, I walked slowly to the middle of the meadow and closed my eyes, enjoying the tranquility of nature for a few moments. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so calm.

A strangely familiar chill crept up my spine making me instinctively look up and give a little squeak of surprise at the sight. Victoria stood before me with crazed, bloody red eyes. Her clothes were torn and unkempt, in a worse state then when I saw her for the first time. She looked feral and _hungry_, resembling a wild, dangerous predator with her fiery mane of hair sticking out in several directions.

"Hello, Bella." Her voice contrasted profoundly with her disheveled state. It was melodic and honeyed. I didn't remember her very well from before. She had been distant at the time, letting Laurent and James handle the meeting with the Cullens.

"Victoria!" I choked out her name. Weak words stumbled out of my mouth, "W-what are you d-doing here?"

"I was looking for you." She went straight to the point. "You shouldn't be walking alone in the forest. There are dangerous creatures out there after all. You of all people should know that." She giggled with glee. That sound didn't feel right coming from her. I couldn't help the shiver that ran through me.

"I thought it would be so difficult to get you alone, but here you are completely at my mercy." Her wicked smile made my heart skip a beat and then start to race. "I must admit, I am disappointed. I expected you to be here with your dear vampire. Where is he?" She shook her head and pouted.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and answered her, blurting out the first thing that came to my mind. "He is on vacation." And what a stupid reason it was. "I m-mean… he is not here now." Fear was starting to get the best of me and my body was trembling slightly. I decided to simply stick to the truth. "He decided it was best to leave…"

"Got tired of you so soon? Since he fought so hard for you, I thought you were his mate. I should have known you were no more than a pet… a little entertainment in his forever of tedium."

"I wasn't their pet." I tried to convince her with the strongest voice I could muster.

She laughed at me. "They feed you, walk you around, and treat you like a novelty most of the time… you were indeed their little diversion." She whined childishly and clicked her tongue in disapproval." I guess I was mistaken. You were just a little distraction."

Her words pierced though me like burning acid rain. Even if I had started to accept it, the wounds inside me were still fresh and open. It stung to have someone else declare those words as if it was the most banal occurrence, like I didn't matter at all. I was no more than pleasant entertainment, or a puppet for him to pass his time.

She trailed off and started walking around me. "And to think, I wanted Laurent to find you at first. I'm glad he refused now because I wouldn't have had the pleasure of seeing your scared face and hearing your pathetic words. He found his mate in Alaska and doesn't want to leave her side."

In a blink of an eye, she was right in front of me; so close I could distinguish between the blazing bright reds and the dark traces of black in her irises. Her proximity made my skin crawl.

"That's what mates really do, you know? They are always there for us. You don't feel safe right now, do you?" She spoke slowly with a hypnotizing tone. "I fail to see what my James saw in you. I had never seen him so focused and so thrilled to chase someone before. He was so good at it too. He basked in the terror of his victims; in the sound their broken pleas and agonized screams as he tortured them before feasting in their sweet blood." She sighed in pleasure and licked her lips.

As my heart and lungs worked overtime, my brain seemed to catch up as well, evoking memories of that day in the forest. I could hear him uttering the words that broke my heart over and over again. The promises, the feelings, the happy moments seemed fake and empty to me now. And love… oh, love… that little bitch was laughing behind my back for sure. It must have a wicked sense of humor because it sure liked to mess with people's lives a lot.

_It'll be as if I never existed._

He asked for impossible things. As if I could forget him or his ethereal family that easily!

"I miss that. The chase, the fear… I haven't had a fun meal in a while. I bet James would be very happy if he knew I finished what he started. It would be like… a tribute to his existence in this world."

Hopelessness rose inside me while my chest heaved and ached with tiny panting breaths. My heart pumped harder and louder, enticing her further. As if the monster inside her needed more fuel! She inhaled deeply as I stood stiffly in front of her, praying my knees wouldn't give out.

"You were a really silly girl to start meddling in this vampire business. You see… we like to play with our food sometimes, but deep down the monster is roaring." She paused and traced my jaw with a thin, cold finger. "Vampires have a demon inside and it's very, _very_ disconcerting to disagree with it. It is… our inner self after all."

My body screamed at me to be as far away from this creature as possible; I briefly pondered trying to run away. How could I run away though? It's not like I suddenly became the queen of grace and wouldn't fall on the third step, smashing myself on the flowery ground. In addition, she would catch me before I even thought about turning around.

I thought of Charlie and his quiet, protective love, who had suffered more than anyone had during my depressed phase. It pained me that those would be the last memories of his daughter. And Renée… even as immature and scatterbrained as she was, I had no doubt she always loved me. Jake also came to my mind. He tried so hard to make me better. I could never truly thank him now.

They would never know I was fighting to move on in my last days. I felt my heart shatter into incredibly small pieces as a few traitor tears escaped my eyes.

"Oh, my dear Bella… " She wiped them gently. "Your fear and pain smell heavenly… I can sense all of it mixed with that sweet blood of yours." She breathed in deeply to make her point, but stopped abruptly, scrunching up her nose. "What is that awful smell?" She took several large steps away from me… breathing and listening intently, a flash of worry marring her marble features.

Victoria suddenly turned her head to the left and after a quick, lustful glance at me she disappeared, barely escaping the claws of a big, russet creature. It went after her, completely ignoring me with my frazzled thoughts.

I lost my balance and fell to the ground as three other huge animals ran in front of me. They were so fast that their movements were almost a blur. It was the fifth one that actually noticed my presence. With bared teeth, it approached me slowly.

A wave of toxic, debilitating fear coursed through me and in the back of my mind I wondered how many times a person could face death before finally kicking the bucket. Death certainly enjoyed playing these wry games with me.

I watched the creature with wide, astonished eyes, taking in what was in front of me with disbelief. Although I had been face to a face with a vampire barely a minute before, they weren't exactly a mundanity. Well, maybe in my world that wasn't the case.

The animal was a huge wolf with a massive, muscular body softened by shiny, raven-black fur. As it closed the distance, its large paws destroyed the innocent flowers in its way. Its body moved with magnificent strength. When its intelligent, deep brown eyes bored _into_ mine, a sudden desire to reach out to it hit me and eclipsed my fear for a second. It was a sensation so intense my body tingled with need.

A pained howl resonated in the distance; the big wolf whimpered in response. It took off immediately, running like the wind toward the sound. I kept looking at the same spot for a couple of beats, mostly wondering if that moment wasn't more than a trick of my imagination. Did such tremendous beasts live hiding around in the forests of quiet little Forks like a Feral Defense Legion?

Another howl shook me out of my stupor, reminding me the danger was too close. They went after Victoria, but surely she would be able to evade, or even kill them. I sure as hell didn't want to be here when she came back to finish the job.

I scrambled quickly to my feet and started moving. Blood echoed in my ears as adrenaline rushed through my veins. Scratches marked my skin and hot drops of sweat ran from my forehead, making my eyes burn. Time had no meaning for me as I moved forward. My muscles ached in protest. I feared I wouldn't be able to do it.

I just wanted to be out of here. Fast. Now.

_Don't stop._

My thoughts were loud and clear. For once, my survival instinct was actually making itself aware.

I almost cried out in relief when I saw my rusty red truck on the side of the main road. Awkwardly, I climbed into it, started the engine, and steered in the direction of my house.

It was then, sticky and smelly with sweat and leaves in the confined space of the vehicle, that I made a vow. I wouldn't let anyone take control of my life ever again and_ love_, that crazy heady feeling which left me bereft and foolish once, wouldn't mess with me so easily next time.


	2. Between Dogs and Tears

**Disclaimer: Mrs. Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

**A/N: This wouldn't be here without my Beta Bell 1 and my Pre-reader hmweasley's magic touch.**

Between Dogs and Tears

By the time I got home my heart didn't want to rush out of my throat anymore, although my hands shook as I gripped the steering wheel. My mind was still reeling.

I parked next to Charlie's spot and noticed with relief he wasn't home yet. When I entered the house I went straight to the shower upstairs, stumbling a few times on the way. I didn't want to explain to Charlie why I looked like I had been thrown down a hill after being stomped by thirty mad marauder monkeys. It was definitely not the real reason; monkeys don't live in this area. Slipping off a hill does sound like me though; he might be convinced by that part.

I snorted, shaking my head at my silliness. It still seemed much more plausible than talking about vampires and monstrous wolves, right? Charlie never believed in ridiculous fantasies. Horror movies were either stupidly boring or horrifically hilarious in his opinion.

I remembered one morning during my summer stay in Forks. I asked him how he could look under the bed without fear. I was about four at the time. The monsters in this obscure location still confused and scared my little mind. I listened with rapt attention as he explained it was just part of my imagination.

Since then, supernatural had been something I didn't care about, or believe in. They were just, as my dad thought, silly inventions, explanations, and excuses for people's delirious musings. Except now I had to believe in certain creatures. I'd been invited to their lair and seen them in action. Hell! I had a bite mark carved on my skin as a reminder!

I wondered what Charlie would think if he were to learn that paranormal was, in reality, not so abnormal. I was pretty sure he wouldn't mind placing some bullets in a particular mythical _sparkly_ ass, bullet-proof or not.

I scrubbed my body vigorously while the hot water hit me. Washing away the shock and letting reality kick in. Fat salty tears fell, mixing with the shower spray while punishing sobs racked my frail body. For once I was glad to be releasing all the pent-up misery and fear instead of being numb and staring blankly at the wall. I stood there breaking down silently until the water ran cold.

I stepped carefully out and wiped the foggy mirror with a towel. I finally saw exactly what everyone has been going on about; I wasn't in my best state by far. My bones were protruding too far to be healthy. My skin was ghastly white and papery. The bags under my eyes also did nothing in my favor. They were big and purplish, a dreamy match to my puffy red eyes. My stomach churned at a sudden thought.

I almost resembled a _vampire_.

I swallowed thickly against my uncomfortably closed throat, fighting back traitor tears threatening to escape. "Enough crying, Bella… Take it easy." I whispered stuffily, eyeing my reflection. My gaze fixed on my eyes and I observed them for a moment. Muddy brown stared back at me. There was no rusty gold or wicked red.

_That's right! You're human! You're alive!_ A decent brain cell shouted from deep inside. Maybe I still had some hopeful survivors in my head. I shared a fleeting smile with my mirror image and marched to the bedroom.

After putting on my pajamas, I went to the kitchen to start dinner hoping the task would keep my mind occupied. However, after a few minutes I realized it wasn't going to be easy. Now that my mind wasn't clouded by fear, I could go over the incident. My thoughts kept coming back to Victoria and the fact she could definitely come back to kill me. I didn't like the fact I was putting Charlie, and probably the whole town, in danger. Who knew what she was capable of doing?

And the animals! They had to be unnatural. Wolves like that simply weren't created by Mother Nature alone. They were impossibly fast and their epic proportions could not be, weren't, normal. It didn't escape me that they weren't afraid of vampires either. Typically, their instinct would have told them the wild ruby-eyed redhead was a little ahead of them in food chain. Logically they would have tried to run away from the predator. They had, however, run after Victoria like it was their mission. All this theory about wolves and vampires was strangely familiar, but I couldn't pinpoint why exactly.

I also couldn't shake the feeling that consumed me when I locked eyes with the gigantic dark wolf. The sensation was immediate, strange, and intense. I couldn't help but regard it as a figment of my imagination, just like the depth of its gaze. A shiver crept up my spine while I replayed the moment in my head.

Just when I was about to put the meatballs in the oven, the front door closed. I shrieked, shaken out of my reverie, almost dropping the food to the floor.

"Jesus, Bella!" Charlie exclaimed as he scurried to the kitchen. "Are you ok?"

"Yes. You just scared me, D-dad." My voice broke. "I was distracted." I set the tray in the oven and turned to him after checking the temperature. His eyes widened as he took me in.

Of both my parents, Charlie was the one I resembled the most. My brown hair and eyes, stubborn attitude, and quiet, yet observant personality were inherited from him. Our comfortable relationship was never very touchy-feely, but we always had a quiet understanding of each other's sentiments.

He was still looking at me, standing by the kitchen door with worry-filled eyes. "Bells?" His voice, tinged with apprehension, resounded in my head. He appeared thinner and exhausted. Countless nights filled with desperate screams from my bedroom had been keeping him awake.

I felt like I was on the verge of breaking down for the umpteenth time. My body and mind searched for a bit of comfort. I chocked back a sob, flinging myself to my dad's arms, hugging him tightly, and losing myself in his familiar, warm scent. At first he seemed taken aback by my outburst, the awkwardness permeated the air like a tidal wave, but after a few long seconds he gingerly wrapped his arms around me and rocked me as I cried. I could only say, "I'm sorry" over and over again while my body shook in his embrace.

With uncharacteristically warm tenderness, Charlie hushed my apologies. He told me everything would be all right. He understood what I was going through. He would be here for me and do everything he could so I wouldn't be hurt again. And he loved me, _his_ little girl.

Slowly, but surely my tears stopped as I calm down, relishing in his surprisingly adoring ways. My lids grew heavy while my heart grew lighter. I started to sway a little on my feet. Charlie noticed my sleepiness and, with a last soft stroke of my hair, picked me up to carry me upstairs. He laid me on the bed and in an unusual display of affection, kissed my forehead.

"Love you, Bells."

"I love you too, Dad." I replied unfocusedly. I felt him cover me with a warm blanket before I dozed off quickly with a small content smile on my lips.

The morning found me fresher and feeling better rested than I had in months. I looked around still a bit drowsy from sleeping so much, surprised the dreamless night passed in a blink of an eye. Loud growls announced my waking stomach, clearly not satisfied after skipping the evening meal.

After a much-needed trip to the bathroom, I sauntered downstairs to find a sleep-rumpled Charlie in the kitchen making coffee.

"Good morning, Dad." I greeted him with a small smile.

"Morning, Bells." His own tentative smile twitched under his moustache. "Coffee?"

"Sure. Thanks."

He poured two mugs and handed me one. While I inhaled the delicious aroma, I watched my father from the corner of my eye.

"I made some toast as well." Charlie pointed to the counter where slightly burned toast sat next to a tray of charred meatballs. Remembering my grumbling stomach, I picked up the toast and grabbed a knife from the drawer. I scraped off what I could of the burnt portion and added some strawberry jam. When finished, I threw the ruined meatballs into the garbage disposal.

He cleared his throat, looked at me for a second, and scratched the back of his neck before heading to the living room. I followed him, stopping by the door and shuffling on my feet as I watched him sit down and reach for the remote control.

"Dad?" He turned on the television.

"Yeah, Kiddo?" His eyes followed the players on the screen.

"_Thank you._"

He kept his gaze on the television, but I swore I could see some pink flood his cheeks. He simply nodded in response, a Charlie-like reply. Stifling a small laugh, I grabbed the toast and climbed upstairs.

No question where my blush also came from, right?

_**~ B ~**_

The little red house of the Black's appeared in my field of vision as my roaring truck crosses an ancient tree and storms through the last curve. I cut off the engine and grabbed the basket full of chocolate chip cookies I made in the morning.

_Let's conquer them through the stomach! _I thought at the time, excited and positive my baking would work its way to their heart.

Knocking on their front door I wasn't as confident, but I figured some cookies wouldn't hurt. My mom used to say men were somewhat like dogs, they bark and run around, jump and make a commotion, but just show them a little something they're interested in and they'll be eating out of the palm of your hand in no time.

Well, mom… let's see if you're right or not.

After a few beats, I heard a wheel chair slide against the floor. Billy opened the door and looked up. He let out a resigned sigh as if my visit was no surprise to him.

"Bella, what are you doing here?"

"Hello, Billy. I just decided to stop by to bring some cookies." I held up the basket in confirmation.

Visuals are very important, Bella! Always show them what you are offering! Mom also said, when I asked her to elaborate on her theory. She had such an interesting view about the world that she rarely said, or did what you expected.

"I also wanted to check on Jake. Is he around?" I added. This was, of course, my real reason to come here. I hadn't seen Jake for weeks and thanking him after yesterday's events was on the top of my list.

"Jake isn't here. I don't know exactly when he'll be back, but I'm sure it won't be anytime soon." He rushed his answer.

I let out an exasperated little sigh. "Billy, you can't keep me from him forever. I want to see him and I brought coo-"

He cut me off. "I'm sorry, Bella. Just go." With a sad smile, he closed the door. I stood there with my mouth agape and a basket of sweets cutting off the blood circulation in my arm.I should probably stop listening to my mother's advice.

With a click of my tongue, I turned on my heel and left the Black's house behind. I decided to take a walk, not feeling like going home yet with my revolted thoughts. I ended up on quiet First Beach, feeling the chilly wind dancing around my hair and sneaking inside of my clothes, goose bumps waking up wherever it reached.

Why won't they let me see Jake? Better yet… why doesn't he want to see me, or even talk to me? Surely, I had been a little crazy for a while, but he helped me get better. There was no need to disappear from my life this way.

This reminded me briefly of how Embry suddenly left Jake and Quil. Jake had been sad and confused as he told me the story about his friend who simply stopped coming around one day. He had joined Sam's gang with no excuses, or explanations. It was like he was brainwashed, or transformed into someone else.

Aimlessly strolling through the sand, I let my mind drift to a past memory when I flirted with Jake while fishing for information about the Cullens. It seemed like a lifetime ago. So much has happened since then. My innocence was lost in the middle of this riotous ride and I'm pretty sure I lost my mind a few times too. I smiled to myself as I recalled Jacob's reaction to my flirting. He was so young and innocent at the time.

This was when I heard about vampires and wolves for the first time. His story about the cold ones had certainly helped me discover the truth about the Cullens. What else had he said? Something about wolves and magic… Were there tribes and wolves? Or maybe... men who transformed in wolves?

Exactly! This was the story I didn't remember before!

The wolves from his tribe protected people from vampires and men went through a transformation, just like the werewolves we see in the movies, and turned into big furry wolves! The thought stopped me dead in my tracks.

_Holy Shit!_

I shook my head, flabbergasted. Jake had laughed at the time assuring me those were just some old legends told by the elders. Could the silly old tales be real?

I almost jumped out of my skin at the sound of a crash. I looked around, wildly searching for the source of the sound. Imagine my surprise when I see a group of five russet-colored hulking men coming in my direction.

And they didn't look very happy...


End file.
